I asked God to shake me down the other day. I knew what was likely to fall out, but I didn’t realize it was going to hurt so badly.
Being in my mid-forties,now, I’ve become accustomed to looking like an idiot. It’s one of a handful of things that I do really well. I used to fight it, but not anymore. I’ve learned to just go ahead and embrace the fool in me. Why not? Please, no pity. This is where I live right now and I’m secure in it. Oddly, it’s the only thing I can be sure of these days. That- and God’s faithfulness, of course. And God is faithful, isn’t He? He doesn’t blame or scold or even punish. Uh oh, stepped on some toes, did I?
God’s discipline is not, necessarily, a spanking. Discipline is correction and training, neither of which is particularly pleasant at the time. Right now, I feel bruised and naked before Him, but it wasn’t His doing. I let my flesh fake me out so the enemy could take a jab and steal my clothes. It’s ok, God’s got me covered. It hurts like hell, but I’m going to get up from this and be a new kind of strong. I’ll know better next time and I’ll have mercy and encouragement for my brother in his naked moment. That’s what God had for me. He spoke truth into my life through my precious friend, but not until I was ready to hear it. I didn’t feel judged, I felt loved. I didn’t feel spanked, I felt supported.
I’m not sure what’s next, but I’ve got an idea. There’s nothing left but up from where I’m standing. Whatever I can dream, Abba dreams bigger and all of His dreams and plans for me fit better than anything I may have thought that I lost in the fight. In reality, I’ve lost nothing and I’ve gained everything. Even an idiot can see that.